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Heather L Reid

Cursing the Blank Page

Posted on September 21, 2011

The cursor winks, mocking me as it looms above the blank page.

“Come on. Do it. Write something.”

Dark and evil it blinks, a beacon of my own inadequacy, each beat a challenge.

“I dare you.”

Fear grips me, anger too.  My mind is blank. I wipe sweat from my forehead with a sleeve. I take a sip of water, to ease the dryness in my mouth. Ideas swirl through my thoughts, I grab at them, one by one examining them in my mind, then throw each back into the ether. None of them are good enough. None of them worthy of the demands of that damned cursor. I curse. Damn you. I look at the clock. 12:20 pm. Time and the cursor are in cahoots with their taunts.

It’s Wednesday, a blog post is due, I have two more chapters to read for my Social Sciences course, a critical essay to write on the state as a necessary evil, and rewrites of Touched by Darkness to work on. All I really want to do is give the cursor the finger and escape into a game of Dragon Age and devour a bar of chocolate.

“Quitter.” The cursor sneers.

Heat rises in my cheeks. I grit my teeth. I am not a quitter.

There’s only one thing that can guarantee our failure, and that’s if we quit.–Craig Breedlove

The cursor stares at me, shocked.

Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I start to write.

Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until have accomplished a purpose – not the one you began with perhaps, but one you’ll be glad to remember.–Anne Sullivan

Not my own words, at first.

Other people and things can stop you temporarily. You’re the only one who can do it permanently. –Zig Ziglar

I will not let the blank page, that blinking cursor, win.

All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail. That is the talisman, the formula, the command of right about-face which turns us from failure to success.–Dorthea Brande

Act as if it were impossible to fail, act as if it were impossible to fail, act as if it were impossible to fail…the mantra for today. The thing that’s getting me through this blank page is the encouragement found in the words and the works of others. It’s the friends that I’ve made online, the support from my peers and family and the belief that I have a calling. This passion for the written word isn’t for naught. There is poetry in my soul aching to be released. I must learn to trust it. I grab onto that idea. I hold it close and let it feed me the determination to never give up, to act as if it were impossible to fail. I open myself up and let the words pour onto the page, without fear, without limits. What is there to lose?

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.–Beverly Sills

What talisman or formula do you use to break the inertia and frustration of the blank page? I would love to hear your thoughts. Keep writing, all! Harness the poetry and the passion in your soul and never give up.

9 thoughts on “Cursing the Blank Page”

  1. Vaughn Roycroft says:
    September 21, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    I don’t know how you do it, Heather. This blog (which is always so wonderfully thoughtful), class assignments, AND your rewrite. I can barely stay focused on my rewrite–and that’s all I have going on!

    As far as a talisman, I’m not really superstitious, but… I have a routine I don’t admit to often. I go for a daily walk on our Lake Michigan beach. I hunt and collect three things: crinoids (400 million y.o. fossils), sea glass, and heart-shaped rocks. If I find at least one of each, it’s going to be a good writing day. The quality of the items even comes into play. The circular crinoids represent plot completion, the sea-glass a degree of polish, and the heart rocks the depth of emotion. I lay the day’s find on my desk in front of my monitor. Currently there are 6 crinoids (2 are extra large!), four pieces of sea-glass (in 3 colors!), and one very nice heart rock on my desk. But I’m not superstitious. 😉

    Just say the word, and I’ll send you one of each. Good luck facing down that bedamned cursor, Wonder Woman. 🙂

    1. Heather Reid says:
      September 22, 2011 at 9:10 am

      Vaughn, compared to the full time moms who are writers out there, I think I have it easy. 🙂

      Thank you for sharing your routine, it’s beautiful! I love that each item has a meaning. With that many on your desk, it sounds like it’s going to be an amazing week for writing!

      I just might take you up on the offer to send me one of each. 😉 Thank you, my friend, for your support and for sharing with all of us. You’re awesome!

  2. Ladonna says:
    September 21, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    The wicked cursor and its taunts, knowing we can’t think of anything and laughing at us.

    Great post. I’ve stared at it for a long time, willing words to jump on the screen.

    For me, I walk and start formulating something in my head. It’s hard to explain. I’m not thinking about my story but I am, then the idea comes. Of course, I never seem to have a pen or piece of paper with me.

    You should make that a flash fiction story and send it out. It’s very good.

    1. Heather Reid says:
      September 22, 2011 at 9:14 am

      Ladonna, thank you! I wish I could will words to jump on the screen as well. Alas, writing is actual work. I don’t think people realize how much blood and sweat goes into making a book.

      I started carrying a pen and paper with me several years ago. It saves me having to repeat the idea over and over in my head so i don’t forget 🙂 Thank you for sharing a bit of your process with me and for being such a great friend and supporter.

      As for flash fiction, I’ve never given much thought to it. I’ve heard the term, but don’t know much about it. Thank you for the suggestion. 🙂

  3. Lara Schiffbauer says:
    September 22, 2011 at 12:15 am

    Cool post and great use of quotes! I have been having my own battles with working on my manuscript this week, but for me it’s the office chair sneering unkindly. Sometimes chocolate is the lure, but it seems to me I just have to force myself to start by telling myself I’ll only write for 10 minutes, and then things get rolling. I trick myself into it, basically.

    1. Heather Reid says:
      September 22, 2011 at 9:17 am

      Hi, Laura! *waves* Thank you for stopping by. Evil things, office chairs. They are co conspirators with the cursor. I know it! 🙂 I think starting is always the hard part. Once I get a few words on the page, I’m golden. Telling yourself you’ll write for ten minutes is a great way to get through the inertia. I might try that myself.

  4. Courtney Koschel says:
    September 22, 2011 at 4:14 am

    Love it! Great post 🙂

    I write everyday. I stick to a strict schedule because it works best for me. If I’m stuck, I free write or start with a prompt to get the juices flowing.

    I’ve never really been intimidated by the blank page. I’m one of those weird writers that doesn’t always write in chronological order. If I’m stuck somewhere, I skip to where the action is flowing inside my head. I’ve found (for me) it’s so much easier to fill in the blanks once I have the bits and pieces down. I call this the “Puking It Out” method. It works! I’ve been writing this way since when I was in college working on my journalism degree.

    Writing is such an individual process. I love that about it 🙂 It’s so much fun to see other people’s writing rituals, schedules, musings, etc.

    Love the quotes in this post. You are awesome, my friend.

    *hugs and chocolate* 😉

    1. Heather Reid says:
      September 22, 2011 at 9:24 am

      *hugs and chocolate* You are a star!!!

      I, too, love to hear about other peoples processes. No two writers are alike.
      I’ve tried the “Pucking it Out” method, but it doesn’t work well for me. I am too hard on myself, too much the perfectinist. I hate it sometimes, that I can’t let myself throw up ideas and clean up later. I would be a lot faster at writing if I did, but I’m an edit as you go girl…no matter how many times I’m told you shouldn’t write that way, I still do it. I can’t help it. I always manage to ge there in the end thought 🙂 I think it works out about the same because, although the first draft takes longer to write, the editing isn’t quite as time consuming. I like to tell myself that anyway 😉

      Love ya!

  5. Tonia Marie Houston says:
    September 22, 2011 at 11:15 pm

    “There is poetry in my soul aching to be released.” Yes, my kindred spirit, I know this ache well. I ignored it for so many years. I agree with what Vaughn, Courtney, and the others had to say. You inspire.
    I am a panster, I write what comes, and make notes for the cleanup. At my heart, I am a perfectionist, but if raising three children has taught me anything, it’s that you take it any way you can.
    Pictures of my children surround me, my talisman is the hope to teach my children that no matter what, joy and passion is attainable. There are days and weeks I struggle with the cursor, the blank page, but doing something silly, like karaoke and dance with the kids, or a long run in the rain, banks the clouds and the stories and poems become clear. I satisfy the ache, for the moment.
    Telling a story is something I give myself, and is part of the legacy I am preparing for my children.
    Wow, I nearly wrote a post…;)
    As always, love from a member of the hugs and chocolate support group.

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